What about Grace and Mercy? [Job 27]
1Then Job continued his discourse and said,
2"As God lives, who has taken away my right,
And the Almighty, who has embittered my soul,
3For as long as life is in me,
And the breath of God is in my nostrils,
4My lips certainly will not speak
justly,
Nor will my tongue mutter deceit.
5"Far be it from me that I should declare you right;
Till I die I will not put away my integrity from me.
6"I hold fast my righteousness and will not let it go.
My heart does not reproach any of my days.
Are you getting tired of this dialogue between Job and his friends? Does it seem tedious? I find myself just wanting to push past all the questions and get the answers from God Himself. But that is just like me. I have very little compassion for people who know the truth but still don’t “get it.”
Laboring through Job has been a good exercise for me. I have become aware of how like Job’s friends I am – impatient, no understanding of living with continual pain, and very judgmental. I have become aware of some of my inner thoughts (that I would never admit out loud) that are so destructive in relationships. Just this week I noticed that dad had a bad cold and I became aware of some stealth thoughts, “Well, you deserved this. God is probably letting you get this so you will think about how selfish it was to take off for a few days.” But unlike Job’s friends, I am kind of aware that this is wrong thinking and I am careful to push it aside and not say it out loud.
As I listen to some of these thoughts I recognize a fundamental unbelief that is represented by these thoughts. The bottom line of the wrong thinking is that God gives us what we deserve so we had better work hard to deserve good things. Now be mindful that I am smart enough to know that this is not true but my thoughts betray that it is a core unbelief. It is characterized by my need to be right, my need to make sure others agree with me, my strong inclination to correct my own mistakes and to figure out how I can not repeat them.
But what about God’s mercy and grace? Where do these fit with my faulty thinking? My thinking automatically by-passes both grace and mercy. Grace is God’s divine influence (power) on my heart and its reflection in my life. If I live by God’s grace, He is the One doing the work in me. If I receive His mercy, I am allowing Him to carry or alleviate the consequences of my wrong. And what about His forgiveness? The fact that He totally releases me from my sin, because Jesus paid for it in full? It doesn’t line up with the thoughts about getting what I deserve. I repent, Lord Jesus, and I ask that You renew my mind with the truth of Your total forgiveness, Your total mercy, Your total grace.
I praise You God for Your compassion and mercy. I am one of those people who knows the truth but still doesn't "get it," and You are so patient with me. I do praise You for Your grace, mercy and forgiveness. It is so abundant, so available. You are all I need.
Verna McCrillis, 1/30/2011